Mother’s Day & Macarons

Tea party table décor.

Creativity Category: Baking, tablescapes, themed parties.

Wellness Concept: Interpersonal relationships.

I consider myself a good gift-giver. But it hasn’t always been that way. At one point in my life, my income limited my options. When my income increased, you’d think my gifting abilities would have too, but while the gifts cost increasingly more, they weren’t always meaningful. The turning point for me came as a biproduct of reading The Five Love Languages of Children when my daughter was very young.  

For an in-depth explanation and to take a quiz to find out your primary love language(s), I encourage you to visit Dr. Gary Chapman’s website. In general, though, the concept is that there are five ways we each express and understand love (quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts) and we all have at least one that resonates with us more than the others. Quality time is fairly self-explanatory. How that time is spent depends on personal preferences. To some people, binge watching their favorite show with them counts. For others, it could mean a weekend trip with just the two of you. Acts of service involves completing acts of kindness for someone. Physical touch can be intimate touching, or it could just be platonic hugs, hand holding, or a pat on the shoulder. Those who prefer words of affirmation like to be told verbally that they are loved and valued. People who prefer receiving gifts sometimes get a bad rap. They can be mislabeled as materialistic and called gold-diggers, but I’ve found that to be an unfair assessment in many cases.

Sometimes the problems that arise when one person in a relationship feels unappreciated or unloved are because the two parties are speaking different languages. For example, my primary love languages are quality time and acts of service. While I certainly appreciate tangible, material gifts, I feel most loved when someone I care about makes time in their busy schedule for me or does something to help me lighten my burden like washing my car, running an errand for me, or cooking dinner so I don’t have to.

So, what does all of that have to do with Mother’s Day Macarons? I’m glad you asked. It’s not easy to do something nice and new for moms. After a while you run out of ideas. Perhaps you noticed that the ideas you had didn’t elicit the excitement you hoped they would. Or maybe your mom has hinted (passive aggressively of course, lol) that you don’t appreciate her even though you’ve repeatedly thanked her throughout the years. It could just be that you’re not speaking her language. This year I envisioned a Mother’s Day activity that would engage each of the five love languages – to be sure there can be no mistranslation of the intended demonstration of love – but also give me a creative outlet while pulling it together.

 The Macarons

Of all the creative things I do, baking is my favorite. Like a lot of families, food was integral in the time we spent together. And baked goods were (at least for me) the ultimate culinary expression of love. I have a memory that’s like Swiss cheese – there are some parts that are solid but others that have gaps that let things slip right through – but the memories of baking Christmas cookies with my mom and brother never fade. When I had a child of my own, I made sure to continue that tradition. It started out with classic cut-out and chocolate chip cookies, but as the years passed, I started branching out and incorporating other recipes and other types of baked goods.

About four years ago I tasted French macarons for the first time and fell in love with them. Naturally, I wanted to know how to make them. I even took a class at Sur la Table (not exactly this one, but something similar) and had relative success under supervision. It took me every one of those four years to get up the courage to try them on my own, though. I can’t tell you how many times I bought the ingredients (and then had to repurchase them because they expired). Where I went wrong was in listening to other people.

As I’m sure is no surprise, I watch a lot of baking competition shows. In almost every season, French macarons were either the dreaded challenge the contestants had to endure to make it to the next episode or they were the tactic of especially competitive contestants to impress the judges. And speaking of the judges – they did not let the introduction of macarons pass without explaining how difficult they were to perfect and how daunting the challenge was. I let them punk me. Although it’s probably more accurate that I punked myself. I was flat out afraid to try. Until now.

I finally got out of my head, got out of my own way and just did it. I reminded myself that even if they were a flop, I’d have fun trying. Once I decided to make them, my creativity started flowing. I opted for two flavors: basil with white chocolate ganache and chai with honey buttercream. I selected the basil because it was the first French macaron I ever tasted and the flavor combination that made me fall in love with them. The chai was simply my nod to the fact that I was planning a tea (and chai is my favorite kind).

I can now vouch for the professionals when they talk about how temperamental macarons can be and about the precision needed in making them. But I’m not saying that to scare you off from them. In fact, it’s just the opposite. You should absolutely make them yourself! At least once. I had some challenges with the techniques, and they didn’t look the greatest, but they tasted amazing. And even better than the joy of eating them and sharing them with family members who hadn’t tried macarons before was the sense of accomplishment I felt when I was done. I overcame my fear of failure which is always a great feeling.

 The Tea Party

I wanted the aesthetic of the tea to be delicate like the macarons. I chose pastels and florals as the color palette with touches of gold and pearls as accents. Because I usually like mixing and matching in my design and décor, I added a lace overlay onto the linen tablecloth and used metallic vinyl placemats. I also mixed up the patterns of the tableware for some added variety.

I went with finger foods for the menu so that the meal and dessert would all be bite sized. To start, there were crudité cups, followed by finger sandwiches (chicken salad on wheat, pimento cheese on white), Cajun shrimp deviled eggs, smoked salmon flatbread bites and fresh fruit salad. And for dessert, of course, were the macarons.

 The Experience

Now let’s bring this back full circle so we can tie it up with a bow. I was intentional about having elements of the planned event touch on each of the five love languages. By preparing the meal and attending to the details of the tablescape, I committed an act of service to show my love. I selected a beautiful teacup (bought from Amazon) as the tangible gift. The other three languages were demonstrated throughout the day – hugs to say hello, thank you, and then goodbye for physical touch; expressions of love and gratitude during the conversations for words of affirmation (greeting cards work here too); and the time spent talking and eating for quality time. We focused on Mother’s Day here, but the underlying concepts work for every celebration. And I made my event a tea, but yours doesn’t have to be. Personalize it for you, your guest(s) of honor and occasion. What you bake, who you bake it for, or how you serve it really isn’t what’s important here.

My not-so-secret ulterior motive in every post will be to encourage you to take care of your mental health. Ultimately, it’s more about the “why” than it is about the “what.” What’s important with this activity is the time you spend being creative and strengthening your interpersonal relationships, both of which do wonders for your wellness. Being creative can lead to what is called “flow.” While in a state of creative flow, the brain releases a slew of chemicals that are naturally pleasure inducing, AKA – positive vibes. Who doesn’t want that, right? And I don’t think I need to tell you that having healthy relationships is good for your mental health.

My hope is that you carve out some time this month to bake something and then share your treats with someone you care about. If you do, please drop me a note and some pics at mecomakesit@gmail.com to let me know what you made, how it turned out and how you felt afterwards.